Jessie decides to protest the pageant, and Kelly joins her. But Lisa has decided to fight the critics and prove that it is indeed possible to be black and win a pageant. Zack thinks he can take anyone and make them the next Miss Bayside, but Slater thinks there's no way. They make a $50 bet, and since Zack said he could take anyone, Slater gets to pick the contestant. And guess who he picks...Screech! Wait a second, guys can't compete in beauty pageants!
Belding won't let Screech enter the pageant because it's strictly for girls. Period. Jessie hears and is immediately outraged because it's racist or something. She agrees to stop her protesting if Belding allows Screech to enter.
Slater and Lisa convince Jessie to join the very same pageant she was protesting. Kelly gets pissed and enters too. Thing look grim for our hero Zack and his chances to win the bet. Also, things are pretty hairy between Jessie and Kelly. Lots of awesome insults are thrown. Lisa is pissed because Kelly is constantly stealing the spotlight I guess.
It's time to rehearse for the talent portion of the show. Lisa plays the violin, which is weird. I always pictured her as a bass player. Jessie does some weird ass interpretative dance, and Kelly, well, she attempts to sing, and let's just say her real talent is the bikini competition. Screech is apparently a magician, and Kevin the robot is his talented assistant. Slater doesn't like his chances of winning the bet, so he enters himself in the pageant. Finally, some real hunks!
Meanwhile, Kevin accidentally punches Screech in the face. Brilliantly, Zack tells everyone that Slater punched Screech in the eye. I'd believe it. And in typical high school telephone fashion, the rumor spreads to "Hey did you hear Slater dropped Screech off the roof of the school?" and "Screech is in intensive care!"
Slater walks out on stage for the swimsuit competition to a chorus of crickets. Screech models an awesome one-piece and is greeted with an awesome ovation. Poor Screech. Kelly, Lisa and Screech advance to the finals, which is obviously the question and answer part of the show. Screeched has learned that every geek can have his day, and unselfishly asks the fans not to vote for him. True inner beauty. He wins anyways, and Belding sings an awesome rendition of the "Miss Bayside" song.
"Say isn't she..he...charming. Isn't he a pearl? Lovely, disarming, not even a girl. He's bursting with beauty, and now it's my duty, to present to you with pride, the very first Mr. Miss Bayside!"
Slater's ready to give Zack his fifty bucks, but Zack admits he started the rumor about Slater. Slater's not mad; instead they both admire what a beauty Screech is. As for us fans...we're left to wonder how Screech did in the Miss High School California pageant. My guess is third runner-up.
QUOTES!
Zack: Screech, I have something very important to tell you.
Screech: Alf flew back to Melmac?!
Jessie: This is no longer just a beauty pageant.
Kelly: That's right. You entered it!
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